At Worlds End

The world ended when Papa died
the screaming of my soul... echoed in my voice.
Suddenly the security I had always known...gone.
My small, safe world now huge and frightening.
My savior, guide, teacher, and friend,
gone in a blink of my eyes.
What will I do now?
Who will help me now?
Who will teach me now?
Where will my life go from here?
How will I know if I'm making good decisions?
So that life is over and this life must go on.
The revelations keep coming, and I find after the tragedy
is a continuation of saving, guiding, teaching, friendship.
Others take these roles, and fill them
like a square peg in a round hole.
They are filled but not exactly...None will be my Papa.
None can take that place.
But I learn he was not perfect, and so others in his roles,
succeed for they too are not perfect.
The end was only the beginning.

5/11/09

Writing In Bed

I snuggle deep into my bed,
as words float round and round my head.
Much needed sleep away has fled
and so its this I write instead.

My husband and my kitty too
are sound asleep. yet guess who
is wide awake and oh so blue
that I can't welcome sleep anew.

The faucet drips and clock does tick,
cramped diaphram makes me hic,
my thirsty tongue feels very thick,
and restless legs just want to kick.

Blanket off and blanket on,
all hope of sleep completely gone.

Silent Sleep

You nestle deep into my chest,
my heart finds some peace and rest,
in our private little nest,
as you sleep on in silence.

I feel your heart beating strong,
as you stretch your legs out long,
my love for you cannot be wrong,
as you sleep on in silence.

I feel your breath on my face,
dampening a tiny place,
a hint of tuna I can trace,
as you sleep on in silence.

Then I disturb your messy fur,
and you awake with yawn and purr,
you're still as sweet as you were,
when you slept on in silence.

3/17/09 For a contest "Intimate Moment"

Cat Limericks

Brammy

There once was a kitty named Bram,
Who is as meek and mild as a lamb,
He is a bit shy
Which is probably why,
It's surprising when he's a ham.

Puddy

There is a crazy pussy named Pud,
Who tries to do what he should.
But he scratches and bites
and wants to start fights,
But in the end he's usually good.

Bella

There is a cute kitty named Bella
Who makes her litter box smell-a
You could break the scoop
when scooping her poop.
And shout when she makes the rug yella!

Bo-Jangles

There is a strange kitty named Jangles
He just adores shiny bangles.
He sits on your feet,
And begs to be beat,
As over your kneecap he dangles.

Bailey

There's an aloof cat named Bailey
He'd rather you not pet his tail-y
He looks down his short nose
In distant repose,
And bites my hand almost daily.

Missy

There is a cute kitty named Missy,
Who sometimes is terribly hissy.
She can be quite sweet,
but in a heartbeat
She changes 'cause she is p****.

I Loved

I met you and I loved you,
You smiled and shook my hand.

I followed you and I loved you,
You kept a neutral stand.

I learned you and I loved you,
You never really knew.

I played you and I loved you,
Away from me you drew.

I gave up and I loved you,
I met another man.

I felt sorry and I loved you,
You became another's man.

You married and I loved you,
You moved on and I grieved.

I moved on and I loved you,
Your lack of love bereaved.

I'm taken, I don't love you,
There's not much more to say.

I'm married, I don't love you,
But memories still stay.

Me-n-you

You left and so I started over,
but over me I feel you hover,
my distrust it makes me suffer,
and time gone by not much a buffer.

You made me nervous, made me quake,
my heart remembers and it aches,
I wonder and my head I shake,
was our friendship always fake?

My best friend you claimed to be,
through your destruction, I didn't see,
until you almost smothered me,
and tried to keep him away from me,

He became the love of my life,
he asked me to be his wife,
he helped me through my mental strife,
And then we started our new life.

But still some days I miss my friend,
And I contemplate the end,
A million thoughts I'll never send,
a broken part of life, not mend.

I started over, started new,
yet, I still often think of you,
Of all the things that we went through,
When you and I were me-n-you.

Prescription Pet Peeves Part 1.

“How long will it take to fill this, and how much will it cost?”
Dreaded words these, some days. I know that a lot of people that walk into a pharmacy don't feel good, have just spent twelve hundred hours in a doctors office and are in no mood to wait anymore.
I on the other hand am in no mood, after 6 and ¾ years, to deal with the maddening rush of trying to please 24 people in a 20 minute period.
OK, so I'm exaggerating a great deal, but I'm pooped folks! I am completely worn out. I've worked for the same chain pharmacy for almost 7 years, and its no walk in the park, let me tell you.
Everyone wants their stuff RIGHT NOW, or even better, yesterday! No one seems to care that I can't just give them their medicine without the prescription from the doctor in hand or faxed or called in, without their insurance being billed right, the right pills counted and everything checked by the pharmacist to make sure all is well.
We're not a friggin' McDonald's with pills sitting under a lamp just waiting for someone to order up a fresh batch of Vicodin,
“Do you want fries with that? Have a nice day, enjoy your pain free high!”
But you better believe after all that pressure that if we do rarely make a mistake, heads will roll.
I've seen a gunshot wound, stab wounds, several kinds of rashes. I've been asked about some extremely embarrassing things. I've met the local Head Dragon of the KKK as well as the father of a famous serial killer/cannibal. I've been robbed. I've been screamed at. I've been called names. I've been made to feel pretty insignificant. I've been told that I'm the best tech in the world. I've been told I know absolutely nothing, I've been told I'm really smart. I've cleaned bathrooms, and puke. I've held babies, and fed puppies biscuits at the drive through. I have held people's hand as they tell me about a family member they've just lost. I've seen many Hospice patients to their end. I have filled life saving drugs to cancer patients with hope. I have made so many people happy, and failed to appease many more. I don't even want to know how many Vicodin have passed through my counting trays over the years. I had to start taking Lexapro, I've contracted mononucleosis. I've driven through, snow, ice and dark of night with no heat in my car. And roasted through the heat of summer in a place where our A/C is regulated by store HQ, 4 states away!
I spend about a third of my day with a telephone growing out of my ear. Usually its for somebody who is low income and has Medicaid (or for the Brits, NHS, I believe) and don't pay for their prescriptions. Which I have no problem with. What I do hate though, is when some of these folks are lazy and don't want to work and just expect things to be handed to them. They don't even know their current coverage information, but they expect me to call and find out for them. I gave up a long time ago on waiting for them to come back with their card, because half the time they don't even know where it is. I just make the call. It strangely enough saves me time!
Oh, and the first part of the year is an absolute nightmare. You think you'd expect a new year to bring possible changes to your insurance coverage. Nope, most folks just waltz in expecting their co-pays and coverage to be same old, same old. Then they give me the third degree on why their co-pay is $20.00 this time instead of $5.00. I have no idea! I just put the price on the insurance company tells me.
In the meantime I have this conversation on almost a daily basis.
Me, “We will fill this prescription with a cost saving generic.”
Customer, “Well I want the brand name.”
“Sir, the generic is the same medication. Its just available at a lower cost.”
“I want the real thing.”
“OK, but it will cost you three times a much.”
“I know, that's because its better.”
“No sir, generics have to be rated just as good if not better that the brand.”
“Well then if it's not better why does it cost so much more?”
“Because you are paying them for their patent on the drug. You are paying for the name.”
“So what's the difference?”
“The name on the bottle and the price.”
“So there's no difference in the drug.”
“No. You will be getting the same active ingredient.”

Now at this point the conversation will go one of two ways. The logical way for it to go...
“Well then I might as well get the generic. There's no sense in wasting my money.”
...or it'll go...
“Well I still want the name brand. I still think it's better.”
At which point I try not to roll my eyes.
Especially after we go to the bother of filling it and have it rung in the register and THEN they decide they want to save their money after all. SHEESH!!
People can sometimes just be silly.
“Hi, I'm here to pick up a prescription.”
Long pause, at which point I'm thinking,
“Well duh! That's everyone is here for! We don't sell cheese you know!!”, and I'm still waiting for a name.
They look at me expectantly.
“Your name please?” I finally ask.
“OH, sorry, John Smith.” (I use this a generic name, although we have four John Smith's, by the way! If your last name is Smith, please name your child Mordecai, or River, or Peter even for Pete's sake! Anything but John. And for pity sake don't name your child William Williams or Richard Richards, etc. Its just a plain pain in everyone's rear!!! Sorry I digress.)
“Birth-date please?”
“1-1-61.”
“Thank you.”
So I go looking in the bins for his script.
After a substantial amount of digging, he says,
“Oh I'm sorry it needs to be filled.”
I resist the impulse to turn around and say,
“Well then why didn't you say so??” and instead say,“Oh, OK sir, then, why don't you step down here to the drop off window and Will here will take care of you.”
Then I go down the back drug aisle and grumble under my breath at no one in particular because I now seem to have more logical conversations with myself than anyone else.

Like I said I'm tired.Vacation is a month away. I can't wait, and it can't possibly be long enough.